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BSG Apparel

July 31st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Random Crap

Dear Bitter SIngle Guy: Is there an online store to get BSG apparrel? ~Getting Cold, Need a Hoodie~

Dear GCNH: YES! The BSG is so appreciative of these gentle reminders! As the BSG’s online home has been remodeled, he’s lost track of some of his previous ‘furniture’ like the link to his shameless self-promotion store which is here.  You can also find it at Links until the BSG establishes a better home for this critical link.

What?

July 21st, 2008 | 2 Comments | Posted in Random Crap

Dear Bitter Single Guy 

Me and Jordan really hit it off…he stayed for ages longer than he normally does in Manchester.
He was gonna ride the bus all the way home with me, but I told him to go catch his bus.
He goes urbis everrryyy week and wer meetin on sat.
I really thought he’d played me last night, cuz I looked his addy up on Bebo and it came up with some guy called Jordan S…but my Jordan is Jordan L o.O
I was really upset bout it…but now things have got even worse.
Someone that I’ve liked for a while told me he likes me :O
he knows I like him now. He made me feel better y.day when I thought Jordan had played me.

so now on sat if Jordan HASN’T actually done anything wrong and given me the wrong addy by mistake [or summut like that] if he ant done out wrong what the hell do I do???
It’s horrible on him if I just go to him and finish him for someone else…but at the same time it’s horrible on the other guy if I’m still with Jordan cuz he knows I like him too =[[[[[

what do I do?????

I like them both. This is such a mess. arghhh!!
none of them are a back-up plan, but none of them have done anything…probably…
I mean my mates from urbis already knew Jordan and would have warned me bout him…plus he wouldn’t do anything bad would he cuz he goes every week!

if he hasn’t done anything wrong there is no way I can finish him. but the other guy is NOT a back-up plan! the other guy is just as lovely =[

omfg I really don’t know what to do.

Dear OMFG: The Bitter Single Guy loves that the internet invites global interaction and he’s always pleased to hear from his readers across the pond, but after reading your letter a couple of times, the BSG’s first response is “huh?”.  The BSG doesn’t know whether this is just the ultimate expression of internet-speak, or if there is some British influence adding texture here. The BSG did a little Googling (hee hee) and learned that Urbis is an exhibition center in Manchester, England…which seems to match the rest of what’s happening here.

Either way, the BSG believes he gets the gist: you like two different guys, who both also like you, but one of them might be double-timing you.  Does the BSG get the point here, OMFG? It appears also that you fear that Jordan L (names not changed to protect anyone…the BSG thinks it’s too late for that) gave you a wrong address because you found a Jordan S on Bebo?  What’s that snooping about, OMFG? The BSG isn’t sensing a great deal of trust for Jordan L. Are you naturally suspicious, or does Jordan L inspire that in you for some reason? And who the hell is Jordan O, anyway?

OMFG, the BSG suspects that this drama will have to play out further before there is resolution.  The BSG can tell you however, that there is ALWAYS someone else who will like you, especially if you are seeing someone.  Once in a relationship, humans apparently give off some pheromone that makes us irresistible to other folks.  If these appreciative admirers consistenly take your attention away from the relationship you’re in, you’ll be forever confused and frustrated (and single).  Stick with Jordan L unless you have some reason to believe he’s played you. If New Guy really likes you, he’ll wait until your thing with Jordan L runs its course. ~BSG~

Unrequited Advice

July 16th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in I'm A Tool

Dear Bitter Single Guy: So  there is this guy I like.  A common problem, I’m certain.  He knows I’m interested, but he has a girlfriend.  Quite frequently I find myself pulled into a conversation about how annoying his girlfriend is and how he’s isn’t really happy with the relationship.  I give him the best advice I can, trying to be unbiased, but it’s rather difficult.  My question for you is how do I handle this situation?  He’s a good friend and an amazing person and I don’t want to hurt him, but I hate that he asks me what he should do about his girlfriend because what I really want to tell him is “Dump her!”  What should I do? ~Wanting More~

Dear WM: You’re a tool! This Devious Dude is using you to make himself feel good (because he knows you’re interested)  while refusing to leave his girlfriend.  The BSG recognizes this as classic passive aggressive bullshit.  If Devious Dude didn’t know you were interested, the BSG might believe he was just clueless (wouldn’t be the first time a dude was clueless…the BSG knows his tribe).

Get clear, WM. The next time he asks for advice, tell him that you can’t really give him advice on his current relationship since you’re actually hoping to be his next relationship.  The BSG actually recommends treating your infatuation with him like a cold. Tell him that it will pass and you’ll be able to be his friend again soon, but until then, you don’t want to spread your disease so will create some space between you and him.

~BSG~

Loving the Sound of Your Own Name

July 15th, 2008 | 2 Comments | Posted in What The Hell?

Dear Bitter Single Guy: So the other night I met this guy at the bar, and he was the “quite laid back guy”   and was hanging out with two of his friends, and I went up to him and by the end of the night it was just him and I engaged in total conversation. We really clicked and it was nice, but he did one thing I never had happen to me before. He would repeatedly say my name in conversation a lot. I mean before he addressed a new subject or anything. I suppose it’s probably not a big deal, but I just wasn’t used to it and it completely caught me off guard. What do you think? ~ Rose By Any Other Name~

Dear RBAON: The Bitter Single Guy thinks you’re over-thinking this.  Look at the bright side: he remembers your name.  The BSG thinks it’s new and fresh and he thinks you should call the guy (assuming there were vitals exchanged).

Long Distance Love Stressed to the Breaking Point

July 14th, 2008 | 2 Comments | Posted in What The Hell?

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I have been seeing a wonderful man for about 6 months. He has never failed to express his affection for me: “I want you in my life” “Do you know how much I like you?!” “I love being with you.” And it is not just verbal but physical and more. HE even brought up the idea of living together down the road and we have talked about getting a dog together and have even looked at breeders.

We have (had?) such a great connection. Four days ago I felt like something ripped and he became distant. He says over and over that I am over analyzing everything (because I am a girl) and the fact that I keep pestering him with relationship questions and drama is aggravating him and the more I do the more he feels pigeon holed. I have asked for him to be honest with me but what I get is “I honestly do not want to be on the phone, with you or with anyone (did I mention we are on opposite coasts?).” “I don’t want to keep drilling into this right now, it is not the time or the place… I just got off of work… you are pushing me into a corner and unless you stop there really will be nothing…”

BSG – is our relationship doomed? Can someone change their minds about feelings in a matter of days (I had just been to visit and all of those lovely things were just said to me and reciprocated)? I am giving him his space but don’t know what to do. ~ Hot And Cold

Dear HAC: The Bitter Single Guy sees that you’re in quite a pickle! The BSG isn’t ready to call your delightful relationship dead, but he’s quite close.  To begin with HAC, you have one of the biggest strikes against you…you’re on opposite coasts.  (The BSG assumes you mean opposite coasts of the United States and not opposite coasts of a tiny island or a peninsula…surrounded by water on three sides…that’s a peninsula…in homage to my pal Tara) A bi-coastal relationship is difficult under the best of circumstances given the limitations of telephone and email communication. But you already know that, and there’s so much more to work with here.

Time is against you, HAC. 6 months isn’t enough time to build the kind of foundation that can withstand the slings and arrows of regular life. Your letter indicates that this change came on quiet suddenly, but the BSG suspects that it’s been bubbling for some time for your Charming Chap.  Maybe the long distance, maybe the phone bill, maybe (yes, the BSG will say it) someone within his ZIP code has captured his eye and he’s feeling trapped.  All of that and more may have been percolating just below the surface, then triggered by your recent rendezvous…specifically, not by the rendezvous, but by your separation.  The BSG’s own experience with a long distance relationship was that the hardest times were those immediately after spending time together.

Finally HAC, the BSG is of course, only ever limited to one side of relationship stories (SOME day, the other half will write in…then we’ll have a fine time, won’t we?). For that reason, the BSG tends to assume that the writer is just and righteous and that the object of their ire, is…well…less so.  But this time, the BSG isn’t so sure.  HAC, the BSG suspects that your need to de-construct and analyze your relationship dynamic is tiring your Charming Chap.  Reading his responses to your questions and then imagining the barrage of questions that probably lead to his responses, the BSG doesn’t have a lot of hope. 

In short, HAC (probably too late for that), the BSG recommends cooling off and limiting the questions.  It sounds like your quest for information is stressing Charming Chap to his breaking point, so dial down the intensity by about 10 clicks.  You’re thinking “but if I don’t keep “communicating” at him, he’ll slip away!” and you’re right, but whether he slips or you push him, he’ll be just as gone.

Oh and HAC? Don’t do that thing that is going to occur to you late some night while you can’t sleep worrying about this. Don’t decide to move across the country (or island, or peninsula) to be with your Charming Chap.  You’ll end up starting the local chapter of Moved Here For Love and It Didn’t Work Out (there are t-shirts).  Good luck.

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