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The Mother of all Ass Clowns

September 29th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

Dear Readers: The BSG would never resort to calling his readers names…that’s just not helpful. But the title Ass Clown in today’s post came from this distraught reader herself and well…the BSG just LOVES the phrase “ass clown”, so it’s here in homage to SIP, not in criticism of her.

Dear Bitter Single Guy: So, I might as well start from the beginning. Back in May, my friend was dating a girl (he’s 21, she’s 16) and it was going pretty rocky. With no motives I gave him advice, even when if he felt like giving up I reassured him as long as he cared for her they would make it through. However, while he was with her, he began to develop feelings for me and I for him which culminated into a pretty passionate affair. He broke up with her and we began seeing each other. Fast forward to a month later, he broke up with me (via a friend). I was so hurt that I emailed him and told him exactly how I felt and banished him from my life..

..Until I realized I was in love with him, but I heard he had moved on so I tried too and left him in the dust. Fast forward again two months later, we were both at the same party and I heard from friends that he was talking about me, how he had wished we never broke up and what not. Well, we talked, feelings were said, and I told I loved him. I thought everything was going well until I heard that he was still dating the other girl. He claims to me that he’s in love with two people and it was a difficult choice and that it was my fault that he had even gone back to her in the first place. He then berated me saying that I was using him for sex and that my feelings weren’t real because I had simply not spent enough time with him. Suffice it to say, he had made his choice, so what was the point of me sticking around, right? He had made it into a sick competition when it was never even like that. As I was leaving, he kept on dragging the entire thing out, asking to talk and walked me to my car, all the while cracking jokes and saying he still wanted to keep in contact with me…

I guess my questions are: Am I right to let this guy go? What is his deal? Is there any hope for he and I, because for as much as I may love him, it seems pretty grim… ~Sleepless In Philadelphia~

Dear SIP: You’re done; step away. The Bitter Single Guy has himself gotten so caught up in the madness of relationship drama that he hasn’t known how to sort through the mixed up lines. From that place of painful wisdom he says to you again: you’re done. Here are your tasks:

  1. Apologize to your 16 year old friend for getting involved with her boyfriend. Yes, you were swept away on the glorious wings of love. Whatever. It was tacky; apologize.
  2. Tell Love Triangle Boy that you’re not going to keep in contact with him, despite what he wants. In case it’s not obvious, saying that he wants to stay in contact with you is his way to ease his guilt about his own role here. If he feels crappy, he can write to the BSG. You don’t have to squash your own justifiably hurt feelings to stay friends with him.
  3. Don’t hate the other girl. From her perspective, you were the other girl. Don’t call her, don’t email her, just don’t hate her and don’t bad-talk about her. People will talk for months about how well you handled the situation.
  4. Take care of yourself. You’ve got a bruised heart and those take time to heal. Watch movies, hang out with friends, write in a journal. Don’t date anyone for awhile.

By the way…it was unspeakably tacky for Love Triangle Boy to break up with you through a friend (does that even count?), but it was also somewhat shifty of you to express your feelings through an email. Step up to the live conversation, the BSG says. That’s all SIP. Good luck. ~BSG~

Love My New Threads

September 28th, 2009 | 2 Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I just wanted you to know that I love my BSG sweatshirt. Its uber-comfy. I have also gotten a couple of inquiries on it when I wear it. Although,I did notice when I went to Ikea the other night, that I might be mistaken for an Ikea bathroom attendant with it on. ~Loving my BSG Wear~

Dear LMBSGW: The Bitter Single Guy is so with you on this one! The BSG himself has a BSG hoodie and although he hasn’t been mistaken for an IKEA bathroom attendant (yet), it remains a great hoodie.  (the BSG swears he didn’t pay this reader to talk nice about her new hoodie)


Grabbing Him by The Reins

September 19th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in Can't Get A Date

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I have recently developed a crush on this guy. We both attend the same college. He’s very sweet, and we seem to have good conversations whenever we get to speak to one another. The only problem is that I’m having a hard time trying to figure out if he likes me or is just being nice. Sometimes it feels as if he really enjoys talking to me and is interested in me but then again, he hasn’t made a move and doesn’t seem to plan on doing so in the near future. I’ve heard that a guy just isn’t interested if he hasn’t made the first move no matter how shy he may be. What do you think? ~Ready for the Next Move~

Dear RFNM: Firstly the Bitter Single Guy wants to say that there is no rule that applies to all guys (not girls though…they’re really straightforward and easy to figure out). That said, it’s usually a good rule of thumb to believe that if a guy (or girl) likes you then he’ll actually make some move in that direction. Otherwise, you have either a guy who is really wishy-washy (“sure, I’ll go out if you want to, whatever.”) or a guy who is really painfully shy.

So the real question RFNM is whether you’re willing to get involved in a guy who is wishy-washy or is painfully shy?

All this aside, the BSG recommends (as he recommends to many folks) that you just ask the damned question. “Hey Dude. You’re sweet and I like chatting with you. What do you think about going out on a date sometime this week?” The worse that can happen is that he will freak out and decline and then the only thing you’ve really lost is several more weeks (months?) of confusion.

Do it RFNM. ~BSG~

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Best Friend’s Little Sister

September 17th, 2009 | 6 Comments | Posted in Random Crap

Dear Bitter Single Guy: So, the title says it all mostly. I’m 17 and my best friends little sister is 15. I have known her for her whole life and I have noticed that she has grown up a lot lately. One night, I crashed at their house bc there was a storm that I couldn’t drive home in. Around 3am, I got up and went down into the kitchen to get water, and his sister was there too…and we talked for a while, and ended up making out. Do you believe in that unspoken guy thing that you can’t date the sister, or do think I should go for it? ~Crossing the Line~

Dear CTL: Well technically the Bitter Single Guy thinks that your best friend is likely to be tweaked about your late-night make out session, so worrying now about his reaction is kind of closing the barn door after the horse has left, eh CTL?

The BSG doesn’t think there’s an unspoken rule (who ever makes those up if no one ever speaks about them?) but it is a little weird to imagine your family in romantic situations, so you dating (or whatever) your friend’s sister will definitely make your friendship awkward at least for awhile. The BSG says let this one go. A relationship in your teens isn’t likely to last more than a few months, while friendships can last years. ~BSG~


Contact the BSG

September 16th, 2009 | 3 Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

Well crap. The BSG wondered why his readers had suddenly gone quiet and it turns out it’s because the contact form is broken! The BSG has contacted the IT Department at Bitter Single Enterprises and they’ve opened a trouble ticket that they hope will be addressed someday.

Tomorrow. I’ll fix it tomorrow.


*Crap…NOT fixed. Whazzup wid the BSG’s pages?

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