The Bitter Single Guy’s Relationship Advice

Trust Issues

Dear Bitter Single Guy: Recently my boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I have trust issues and because of these issues we fought all the time. He never did anything for me not to trust him. All of these issues all come from my past, I had boyfriends who cheated on me and abused me and even threatened my life. He never did any of these things and treated me the way every woman should be treated and yet I still had problems trusting him completely. I know for a fact that if I didn’t have this major problem that we would still be together. I want to get back with him and I heard from mutual friends that he still wants to be with me but he can’t stand all the “drama” that this brings to our relationship. I was curious on if you had any advice on how I can fix this and get over everything? ~Eternally Suspicious~

Dear ES: Short answer: get counseling. If you know the problem, can’t fix the problem yourself, and the problem is killing your relationship then it’s time for professional help. Don’t wait until you’ve mowed through three or four good relationships to get help.

Probably if your ex knew you were working on fixing this you’d be able to get him back?

~BSG~

Guys Are Simple

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I need a bottom line! Are men really simple? I argue that they are. More specifically, if they like a girl, they’ll go after her. If they don’t, they won’t. And if they’re in between or back and forth we’re better off moving on. Right? ~Got It Figured Out~

Dear GIFO: The Bitter Single Guy would love to tell you that guys are complex and multi-faceted creatures, but whether that’s true or not, he thinks you’re better off treating them as if they’re simple. Right now, there are guys getting their gander all up in defense of their own delightful complexity but the BSG wants to clarify: he doesn’t think guys are necessarily simply, he just thinks it’s easier treating them that way…just as it’s easier treating women that way. (Ganders are less agitated thinking that now the BSG is insulting everyone…not just the dudes).

To clarify GIFO, the BSG doesn’t think that it’s ever helpful to assume that if a guy (or girl) likes a girl (or guy) that he’ll “go after her”. There are a zillion reasons why someone might not pursue someone that they’re attracted to. BUT (the BSG knew you knew there would be a big but), the BSG doesn’t think there’s anything productive in trying to read between ANYone’s lines (so to speak).

If you suspect that a guy likes you but he’s not in pursuit, walk away. If he realizes you’re not going to play whatever game he’s playing, he’ll step up (if he’s a step-up kind of guy, which is good) or he’ll kick himself for missing his chance. Either way GIFO you’re better off if you let guys know that you’re not willing to play the your-lips-say-no-but-your-eyes-say-yes game. Eyes don’t speak.

Of course, one could argue that if guys are simple, then so is the BSG and this may be useless information. You decide, GIFO. ~BSG~

Not Dead

Oh, dear readers…the BSG knows that your emotional pain doesn’t take holidays, but the Bitter Single Guy sometimes does. He’s been gone from these pages for more than a month and hopes you haven’t been sitting in the corner of your room, arms around your knees, and rocking back and forth.

Let the fun resume today!