Dear Bitter Single Guy: About a year ago I became friends with a guy in college. When he met my roommate he started coming over to see her, took her out, sent her flowers and the only time he talked to me anymore was when he called her.
She wasn’t interested, so he lost interest in her and started talking to me again. We spent time together as friends, kissed a few times and eventually even had sex. We talked about dating, but he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I really have grown to like him and I want there to be a chance between us but I don’t know what to do. I want him to take me places and call me like he did with my old roommate, at least as friends. Any insight on what’s going on in his head? ~Girl “Friend”~
Dear GF: Once, the Bitter Single Guy had a beautiful plant that he brought home in a festive pot. He dutifully watered, loved and spoke to Plant regularly. In time, each leaf turned brown and dropped off the branches. Recognizing failure, the BSG put Plant on the porch and ignored it.
Soon, one or two sickly new leaves appeared. The BSG was heartened by his success and began caring for Plant again. For a while it continued its sickly life, then took a turn for the worse.
Are you getting the picture here GF? Plant toyed with the BSG’s emotions by warming up, getting cold, then warming up again. In a fit of frustration, the BSG finally left the damned thing out on the porch. It’s still there, a dry old stick. (at this point, the BSG is uncomfortable with this metaphor and wants to abandon it)
So, after so much babbling, GF, the BSG has this advice: stop trying to figure out the best way to nurture this relationship. Let it go. ~BSG~