Dear Bitter Single Guy: I met a girl a month ago at a friends’ wedding. We’ve been talking everyday. About 3 weeks later I visited her, she was out of town for work. There was cuddling, sex, dinner, etc. Then I left on my preplanned cross country road trip.
I’ve been on the road for two weeks. We still talk everyday, but it is hard. About a week ago, she told me she loved me. I don’t feel the same way, which she is cool with.
I want to date her when I get back, but something feels weird now. Like, some of the spark is gone? Am I freaking cause she told me she loved me? Should I be? ~Unsure Behind the Wheel~
Dear UBTW: The Bitter Single Guy is going to tell you that a declaration of love after a ton of phone calls and one really great date is a little premature. Now the BSG is pretty sure that there are readers getting their gander up about the joy and realities of love at first sight as well as other fairy tales, but he stands by his snap judgment.
The BSG suspects that you are feeling the “whoa” response of someone who’s in a relationship that is going to fast. The BSG suspects that this feeling is felt most often by dudes, but he has spoken to girls for whom this is true, too.
The BSG recommends that you tell Speed Racer that for your ramp-up-into-relationship needs you need to move a little more slowly with the every day phone calls and may need to have at least another live date before concluding that this fledgling relationship is going to be able to fly on it’s own or if it will go the way of so many other new relationships and plunge to an untimely end at the base of a tree.
By the way, you don’t mention whether this traveling and meeting in different cities means that in addition to different affection timing, that you and Speed Racer are also doing a long distance thing. If that’s true, the BSG doesn’t have a lot of hope for your future with SR, since managing variations in expectations is tough at close range. Trying to do it long distance is a recipe for frustration.