With apologies to this caller…the BSG was traveling and didn’t get to this voice mail for a week! The BSG has added podcast advice and it’s SO cool! Call today (856-244-1274) and leave the BSG your question on voice mail. But in the meantime, listen to today’s podcast.
Dear Bitter Single Guy: Man, thanks for the great insights, you’ve helped clear up a lot of muck. Well, here is some of mine (others might have a similar problem): I’m a 57 year old man, haven’t dated in 15 years, haven’t had sex in 12 years, and the totality of my relation experience since the age of 21 barely exceeds 3 years (yeah, I figured it up – pretty sad).
I’m physically healthy and attractive, but I tend to be reserved (read shy) in manners and conversation. Outwardly at times I appear to be an extrovert, but then I become self conscious and clam up (passive/aggressive?). I’ve been more of the “dumpee” than the “dumper”, and neither sets very well with me. I tend not to be very assertive or demanding with the women I’ve dated, but it makes me feel I’m being like I’m being too aggressive, and then I become unsure of myself… oh hell, that’s pretty much the short of it. Would therapy really help, or am I hopelessly done? Thanks again. ~Pathetically Bitter Single Guy~
Dear PBSG: The BSG first wants you to know that there is ALWAYS hope, but that’s not to say that you should sit back and wait for something to come to you.
Short answer: yes. Therapy will help. Get someone qualified to help you unpack the reasons for your unsatisfactory (to you) relationship history.
Longer answer: If the BSG were prone to leaping to unsubstantiated conclusions based on mere fragments of information (in fact, he is QUITE prone to this) he would tell you that you’re over thinking the whole messy process. You’re coming out of a generation where many folks found and secured relationships early on and stuck with them. The BSG suspects that most women you meet are divorced and have some trepidation about the fact that you have limited relationship experience. Most folks expect a past committed relationship or two from folks your age. The BSG isn’t being critical, just letting you know that this is likely an expectation among your target population.
Talk with your new therapist about the kind of response you can give to a woman on a date that will not make you seem creepy. Seriously PBSG, don’t wait…call and make the appointment today. The BSG looks forward to getting an update ~BSG~