Dear Bitter Single Guy: Okay, one month ago my girlfriend asked me out. We started dating. She lives in U.S. and I live in India. But I’m going to move to U.S. soon. I love her so much and I would do anything for her. The problem is, we hardly ever talk! I’m generally an introvert and I’m really shy, sometimes I think that I annoy everyone.
Still I always try to send her the first message. But she ignores most of them but I know she loves me. Then why doesn’t she talk to me? She knows that it takes me a lot of courage to send her a message! I’m so sad about it I cried for last two days! I can’t stand not talking to her! And I promised her that I would be happy with whatever she does to me so I can’t tell her either, then she will be sad. I’m just too scared to lose her. What should I do now? Should I just continue this way? It will hurt me not talking to her but I will bear it for her… oh by the way, she has Aspergers syndrome. ~Feeling The Chill~
Dear FTC: Honestly dude, although the Bitter Single Guy believes in the conquering power of love and all that stuff, he’s not really sure that there’s a solution for you and your Delicate Daffodil. An introvert and someone on the Asperger’s syndrome continuum would have a hard time communicating if they had nothing other than a coffee table between them. With a continent and a couple of oceans between you, the BSG isn’t sure that there is much hope of getting your girlfriend to communicate with you, but he also doesn’t think that’s your biggest problem.
Frankly the BSG is more concerned that you told your girlfriend that you would be happy with whatever she wanted because…well…that’s just not ok. And now you’ve spent two days crying because she’s not communicating with you?
FTC, the BSG needs you to know that you’re in that uncomfortable obsessive part of a relationship where you’re only barely human. While the early part of a relationship is often the fun part, when it goes obsessive as this one has, it’s just ugly.
Here’s the BSG’s advice. You need to take a deep breath and man-up. Which means, cry if you have to, but recognize that this is a temporary state for your relationship and that you WILL get over it. The BSG also doesn’t recommend moving for this relationship anytime soon. You and your Delicate Daffodil need to find a balance where she learns how to communicate with an emotionally fragile introvert and you learn how to communicate with someone with Asperger’s syndrome.
Chances are that you will not succeed, but you’ll learn a lot so that’s something. ~BSG~