The Bitter Single Guy’s Relationship Advice

Besotted

Dear Bitter Single Guy: First of all, I can relate to the bitter part of your name…for I once was bitter.

I am 52 and have been divorced for over 6 years after a rocky 16 year marriage. I decided to never date or get involved again. Then my lonely heart discovered someone I had known since the 9th grade and never once given the time of day…forgive me, SBG, I have changed. As it turns out, he is the happy in my day. We’ve been seeing one another for a month, practically every day.

The “love factor” is there and my query is, seeing I have not been in the dating scene for soooo long, could you give me the top 5 pieces (or more) of your priceless advice so I don’t screw this up? I have resolved that he is the “one” that I have waited a lifetime for. ~Besotted This Time~

Dear BTT: Yay! The Bitter Single Guy rarely gets to offer advice before things start falling apart! The BSG applauds your proactive stance, BTT.

So the BSG had to think a little about his top 5 advice points, but here they are:

1. Don’t jump too quickly – The BSG wants you to be careful here, BTT. You’ve decided that your first relationship after a rocky 16-year marriage is the “one” but it’s not uncommon for one person to believe they’ve found their forever mate and the other person to just be spending time with someone nice. Even though you’re 6 years out of your marriage, the BSG wants you to think about this as your rebound relationship and remember…many folks have the experience of being appreciated in their relationship, so if you’re not his “one” keep an open mind.
2. Jump – The BSG will knowingly contradict the above point. At some point, if you’re going to move a relationship forward, you’ve got to take the leap, whatever that means for you. Yes, taking leaps increases the likelihood of falling, but there’s no other way.
3. Don’t over-analyze – The BSG is surprised how often his readers will write to him asking about the subtle nuance and deep-seated intention in a one-line email or text message. It’s natural to wonder about larger intentions and motivations, but be careful in your communication to avoid drawing conclusions where there are none.
4. Ask for what you want – This is as simple as it sounds, but is the most common thing folks email the BSG about. Don’t assume that your partner can read your mind and don’t try to read his. Ask. Tell.
5. Wallow in it – The BSG doesn’t actually think that relationships are supposed to last. Yes, some of them do, but the BSG believes that those are the exceptions. Most of us move in and out of romantic relationships as our lives evolve. Whether this is the one you have until you die or not, the BSG recommends enjoying every minute of it while it lasts…whether it lasts a week or a decade.

Good luck, BTT! ~BSG~