Some Awkward Nincompoopery
Dear Readers, yesterday’s installment of nincompoopery saw our hero fall to his knees in despair (seriously, it’s actually in the letter…the BSG can’t make this shit up) when Perfect Girl got drunk and dumped him for cheating. Turns out she was actually just a human. Who knew? (OK, all the rest of us knew) But it’s not over yet, we continue here with the story already in process…
Dear BSG: So, I went on with my life, I was in a few short, unhealthy relationships, and always found myself forcing feelings. 6 months later, after seeing him (Player Guy) and her (Perfect Angel) exchange those three words (I love you) publicly, they broke up. I talked to her about it, and found out he was more of a horrible person than I thought. In their relationship, they fought constantly, he talked to her like a dog, he constantly brought her down, and just flat out treated her like shit. I was doing better than average at the time. Then 8 months after we broke up, we decided to meet up and talk. We were best friends when we dated, and when we talked, all the old feelings came back. I thought I understood completely why she did what she did. “It was out of pain because of what I did.” We kissed. I finally felt alive again, I blew the girl off who I was currently seeing off right away. Because my love for Sydney just felt right. After constantly hanging out and talking to Sydney for about a month straight, she had my heart again…then one night she said something that made my heart sink to my stomach, “I need to tell you something.”
She told me she cheated on me a week before she ended things with me. She said one night she snuck out of her house (something she would never even consider doing with me, although we always talked about her doing it one time) and she met up with him, had a few hour conversation with him, and when they were leaving each other, then kissed. Yes, I know, kissing doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but that whole time she was telling me she loved me, she was kissing him earlier that night, and most likely the next day. She went on to tell me how she started texting him under one of her girlfriends name over two week before she cheated. I was confused. How could she keep that from me for 8 months? Why was I not worth telling? Why didn’t she tell me she did that (something that happened while we were dating) instead of telling me she had sex with him while we weren’t dating. It’s like she wanted to get to me love her again just so I couldn’t get away this time. ~Some Awkward Nincompoopery~
Dear SAN: Well the BSG was advising you to get out, but he realizes that sometimes getting past difficulty can make a relationship stronger. Well OK then, let’s see how this is working out? Player Guy turned out to be a big meanie. Don’t tell the BSG that you didn’t have any “I told you so” reaction to that, but really…the BSG himself felt a little of that, so he thinks you were pretty justified. So then you and Perfect Girl got together as friends, discovered your love for each other was still there, and you jumped back into relationship together. The BSG has to say that there may be a karmic debt to pay for “blowing off the girl you were currently seeing”, but that’s for another day.
So far this all seems fine SAN, but then you descend into some nincompoopery again. So apparently somewhere in all this you sexting girls and getting caught, you now learn that Perfect Girl had a little fling herself. By the way SAN, you need to stop saying that she’s doing things that aren’t like her (like sneaking out at night) because obviously they ARE like her or she wouldn’t be doing it. Sneaking out for a late-night tryst may not have been part of her experience with YOU, but clearly she got motivated for this new guy.
So yes, she carried on her own little bit of deception while she was with you. The BSG can’t believe he has to point this out again, but in this example Perfect Girl was doing pretty much exactly what you were doing with all the sexting, wasn’t she? Yes it’s possible that she waited to share this detail until you were all back up into each other so you wouldn’t bail, but really can you blame her? The good news here is that she probably wants to preserve your relationship and that’s why she waited until you were fully back in love before telling you about her indiscretion. The BSG recommends, once you’re past feeling all hurt and stuff, thinking of this as a good thing.
OK, there is still one more part to all of this…tune in next time for the BSG’s and SAN’s dramatic conclusion. What happens to Perfect Girl? To SAN? What, in the name of all that’s holy, happens to Player Guy?! Find out in a couple more days.