What follows is the beginning of an incredibly long letter. The BSG generally limits the letters to which he responds to about 250 words. Really…any more is just too long for the BSG to read and he knows you…you’re too impatient to slog through all that.
The following original letter is more than 1800 words. The BSG is hoping that this young man didn’t type this on his phone.
That aside, there’s a lot here that the BSG just can’t let go. So he’ll be breaking this letter into segments and publishing one segment each day for a few days. The BSG’s apologies to the lovelorn writer, but this is a more-than-one-session problem. So here goes with part 1.
Dear Bitter Single Guy: When I was younger, my grandma told me a story about how her and my grandpa met.. “I was a freshman in high school and he was either junior or senior. We both walked to school everyday.. on opposite sides of the street. I don’t remember exactly why or when, but one day he crossed the street and started walking with me from then on.” They’ve been together ever since. I will never forget that story. And since then I’ve always dream about having that kind of relationship. A long. Healthy. Relationship. Although my grandparents do seem to argue more than most, and my dad said they might of been happier if they separated, I’ve always admired what they had. They never left each others side, through thick and thin, they made it work. ~Some Awkward Nincompoopery~
This first section is where the BSG knew he needed to break in DURING this letter, rather than at the end. Look at what you wrote here, SAN: you dream of a long healthy relationship (you put periods after “long” and “healthy” to, the BSG is sure, emphasize the importance of those. But then you say that they argue more than most and that your dad says they might have been happier separated. Happier. That’s right there, SAN. So the BSG has to ask…you seem to prefer a long unhappy relationship to a series of shorter happy ones? For the BSG that dog just won’t hunt, but he’s notorious for wanting to be happy. Really, he’s just sort of selfish that way and he wonders why others (you in this case, SAN) aren’t similarly selfish about their happiness.
Tune in tomorrow for part 2.
The Bitter Single Guy, in his continuing quest to ease the soul-crushing experience of dating for all of us, and despite his busy videocast schedule, is entering the abyss on behalf of you, his readers.
Specifically, the BSG has become aware of OKCupid’s latest attempt to remain relevant despite their ridiculous name: CBD. This is the acronymized name for an app the BSG has downloaded called “Crazy Blind Date”. Apparently, one simply submits times that one is available for the aforementioned CBD and the app finds some other desperate soul and connects you.
Well in just a few short hours, the BSG himself is that desperate soul (well, one of at least two). Watch this space for the detailed outcome…
Relationship Advice Videocasts
13 years in the making, and coming January 15th!
After writing relationship advice online for 13 years, the Bitter Single Guy will finally be revealed! Video podcasts featuring YOUR letters will start on January 15th and a new video will be posted every two weeks after that. Click here to subscribe to the BSG’s YouTube channel so you don’t miss a single video.