Disappearing Men
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I have been dating this guy for about a month and recently I had been pretty busy (finals, holidays, and work), so not a lot of time was made for him. My phone was broken for a few days, so I sent him a friendly email asking him to send me his number. He read it and didn’t respond. I got a new phone today, and received a text sent a few days ago asking me to let him know when my phone was working again. I texted him and we made small talk for a bit. I asked him if he wanted to get together tonight and he didn’t respond.
Before I went MIA for a week, everything was great. He seemed really interested and then all of a sudden he wants nothing to do with me. It’s not the first time, so I kind of have to wonder if it’s me or if it’s just men? If it is me, what is so difficult about being a grown-up and telling me that we shouldn’t see each other anymore? Why be a coward and make me wonder what happened?
P.S. What would you become if you started dating someone? Would it be Bitter Taken Guy, or would you not be bitter anymore? Just curious, I had to ask. ~Disappearing Act is Getting Old~
Dear DAGO: To your last question, the Bitter Single Guy, like many of his readers, wanders in and out of Relationship Land. But he can say without hesitation that he’s never been Bitter Taken Guy. Scary.
Next, the BSG has to tell you that with the exception of a ownership of a penis, there isn’t anything that is true about all men (and some would argue the penis point). So, if you have a pattern of men disappearing on you, the BSG will go ahead and tell you: yes, it’s you. Or at least part of it is.
Regarding your Cold Chap, the BSG doesn’t think he acted very maturely. Like you, the BSG believes the world would be a better place if people would be able and willing to simply say what’s going on for them. But in this case, the BSG doesn’t think that Cold Chap would have said he didn’t want to see you anymore. He thinks it might go something like this:
Hi DAGO. I really enjoyed my time with you and thought we had something going, but when you disappeared for a week after we had just been going out for a few weeks, it seemed that you weren’t interested in dating me anymore and that kind of hurt. Yeah, I know that you contacted me after you got less busy and got your phone back, but while you were gone I went through a whole cycle of anger, denial, sadness and acceptance. You see DAGO, the time it takes to go through all the stages of a breakup is a direct reflection of the length of the relationship. Sadly, for a one month relationship, I had pretty much grieved and gotten over you in about a day and half. So, I’m glad you’re ready to date again; I wish you luck in your next relationship.
Nice guy, eh DAGO? The BSG thinks that this is what he MIGHT say if he was willing and able to be honest with you. Maybe there’s a tiny bit of this that you have some responsibility for. Just maybe. ~BSG~
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