Dear Bitter Single Guy: I have been dating a lovely man for the past 2 years. We met in college- he was a year farther ahead in school than I was; he just graduated and moved 800 mi away to attend graduate school. I have remained in my home state to finish my final year of school and graduate with my undergraduate. We’ve been doing the long distance thing for our year apart.
My parents have never been too fond of him- though they don’t blatantly dislike him, they feel we are both too young to be as serious as we are. With graduation coming soon in May, I must choose whether to stay close to home and find a job or move to his city and work there (as he is in a PhD program, he can’t move to where I am). I understand that there is a huge risk involved in moving- thus, I do not intend to be financially dependent or living with my boyfried so that in the event that things did go downhill, I would not be putting my well-being at risk.
No matter what I do, I will step on someone’s toes. I’m 20 years old, never had a true ‘fight to the death’ with my parents, and don’t want to risk losing a man I truly love. I see three options:
1.) Continue to reside and work in my home state; family problems non-existent, puts relationship on hold
2.) Move to his state to reside and work; family problems ensue, solid relationship move (assuming things go well)/
3.) Move home and work for a company that has offices in both states, work for several months in home state and request a transfer to his state; still family drama (perhaps less), moving to be close to him, although it would certainly delay the process.
Have I overlooked something? Or am I being foolish trying to please all parties involved. ~What’s The Next Move?~
Dear WNM: This is totally easy for the Bitter Single Guy and for you. Option 2 is the correct choice.
Your family will not like that you’re moving away. They need to get over it; baby birds grow up and leave nests…it’s the state of the species. Your relationship will likely not work out; he’s in a PhD program, you’ll be starting a new life, you’re both in a new city. These are tough obstacles to get over, but there are always tough obstacles to get over.
So with all these negatives, why is the BSG putting his big booted foot into your feathered ass to get you out? Because becoming an adult (a lifelong pursuit by the way) requires that you learn and grow and experience new things. Why wait? Do it WNM. You’ll totally thank the BSG. ~BSG~