Giddy Infatuation
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I read some of your advice and thought I would see what you have to say.
A year ago a met Dan, he came to my office for business related issues. A co-worker (friend) and I ended up having a bite to eat with him while he waiting for someone at our office. Anyway, we had a good conversation and I immediately liked him. As soon as he left my friend said “I think he likes you”. A couple days later we talked and flirted on the phone and I thought he would soon ask me out. I found out a couple days later from his friend that he was in a relationship but it was not going well. I don’t like getting into the middle of other people’s relationships so I did not make an attempt to reach him. I did not hear from him again for a couple of weeks. He then asked me out and we went on a date. I asked him about his girlfriend and he said he broke up with her. Our date went very, very well. However, he did not call me after the date and about two weeks later he said he had gotten back with the girlfriend. I actually felt awful (which is not normal for me) considering we only went out 1 time and had only known each other for about a month. I even cried. I really liked him.
About a month and a half later, he called the office again (there had not been a day that went by that I did not think about him) he asked to talk to me and asked for my personal number again. I did give it to him and we started talking on the phone whenever he was in town (he is a musician so he does travel a lot). He asked me out for a second date (this is about 4 months later). Our conversations had gotten more sexual in nature. We were both very attracted to each other. Anyway, the night of our date I had every intention of being intimate with him but at the last minute the thought of him going back to his ex freaked me out, made me super insecure and I left him high and dry. Now he won’t talk to me and won’t return my phone calls (I only call him once in a while – I don’t want to be a stalker). I can’t seem to let it go, I feel awful about what I did, and I never do things like that and I’m usually pretty confident.
I have dated other men but in the back of my mind I think that it’s just for the time being, until I get Dan back. I feel like I “blue balled” myself because now I can’t stop thinking about him. Any advice will help. ~Blue Balled~
Dear BB: So, the Bitter Single Guy is hearing that you think you’ve messed up your potential relationship with this guy because you didn’t put out?
Nope. That dog won’t hunt, BB. If this guy has decided not to talk to you because you didn’t put out on your second date, you don’t need him.
What you’re feeling is good old-fashioned infatuation. It’s debilitating, makes you feel sick to your stomach and unreasonably emotional. Aaah, the good old days.
It’ll pass, as your infatuation with this guy will pass; and good riddance to them both.
~BSG~
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