Heard my gf was cheating
Dear Bitter Single Guy: Awhile ago my gf told me a guy was saying very vulgar things to her at a party, and the next day my gf tells me her friend (who also likes this guy) says that my gf hooked up with him.
Now this girl (the informant) and my gf used to be friends and since have stopped speaking. I told my gf to find out what happened from her and if she couldn’t then I would (probably my first mistake). Well the informant contacts me and tells me that my gf cheated on me twice on the night in question with said guy, and that my gf has been lying to me and others. She even told me to talk to the guy my gf supposedly slept with.
I confronted my gf about this, denied all charges flat out. My gf calls the informant crazy and the informant calls my gf a liar. What should I do? I love my gf a lot; we’ve got plans about our future etc. The girl the informant describes doesn’t sound like my gf, the girl I know and love.
Should I dig deeper on this one? It’s incredibly stressful on our relationship. It’s a catch 22 almost. ~Wanting to Dig Deeper~
Dear WDD: The Bitter Single Guy thinks you need to side with your girlfriend on this. You say you trust her and The Informant seems to have an axe to grind where your girlfriend is concerned. The problem of course, is the consequences of being wrong. If you’re wrong and The Informant is trying to wreck your relationship, then you end up being the big giant jerk that didn’t trust his girlfriend instead of an obvious psycho wench. The BSG says trust the girlfriend, but he also thinks that the two of you should agree to cut off all contact with The Informant.
That said, the BSG is suspicious by nature and recommends paying attention for other signs of infidelity in the future. If The Informant is just doing a public service and telling the truth, then you’re going to have many years of getting over the hurt you’ll feel if your girlfriend is this fiendish. That said, the BSG thinks that if she’s ballsy enough to carry out this drama, then he suspects she’ll stray again. ~BSG~
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Says:
June 23rd, 2010 at 10:37 pm
Hmmmmm… Weird, not only did you not say what I expected you to say, but you didn’t even glance in the direction of what I thought you were going to say. I assumed you’d say, “Obviously you are questioning whether it’s true or not, and if you don’t trust your girlfriend completely you probably know there’s more going on.” (Or something of that nature, I’m not sure why I quoted it. In my experience anyone who thinks it might happen, thinks it for a good reason.)
I also don’t really see why “the informant” has a reason to destroy their relationship.
Here’s the problem: Cheaters are liars. Not always good ones. But if they’re willing to cheat, they’ll normally lie to your face about it. What do they have to lose?
But I digress, apparently. I like your style of telling him to trust. You’re not so bitter after all!
Says:
February 28th, 2011 at 1:45 am
I really like your blog because you have a great style of writing. It really makes me wanna read all your blog posts. Either way keep up the good work and thanks for making my boring days at home a little more fun and interesting.