The Bitter Single Guy’s Relationship Advice

Husband Has Lost All Interest

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I’ve been with my husband since Grade 11 and we got married when I was 22.  Now almost 2 years into our marriage things have changed drastically.  The connection that we once had is almost completely gone!  He says it’s all me.  It’s only when I am in a sour mood that the relationship suffers and it’s only when I am happy that it’s doing well, he’s “just along for the ride”.  This attitude towards our marriage is very disturbing to me especially these days were it seems his mood swings are getting worse.  Just this weekend we went out with some friends that haven’t been home in years and by the end of the night he was rum-dumb and telling me he wished I didn’t go with them then advising people on the street never to get married!

We are both too young to be stuck in a loveless marriage, just going through the motions because we feel we have to. I would love to get things back to the way they were but should I be taking my husband’s comments and lack of effort as he has already given up! ~Marriage On the Ropes~

Dear MOTR: Gracious, the Bitter Single Guy thinks this is harsh! Based on your husband saying he’s just along for the ride and him advising people on the street not to get married, the BSG thinks the end is near for your marriage.

Here’s the advice MOTR: tell your Charming Chap that the two of you need some counseling if you’re going to make it. The BSG agrees that your 20’s is awfully early to be in a loveless marriage…usually one has to wait until one’s 40’s for that.

In counseling, the issue of “along for the ride” should definitely come up…Charming Chap needs to be an active participant in his marriage if he’s going to get anything good out of it. Similarly, the BSG doesn’t think that alcohol brings out untrue things, he thinks it brings out things we’re not willing to say sober. If Charming Chap is sorry he got married and sorry you are around him when he’s in his cups, the BSG suspects that’s also true when he’s sober he’s just not willing to say anything.

If he won’t go to counseling, the BSG recommends you start thinking about what your options are for staying happy in this relationship or out of it. Much good luck to you MOTR. ~BSG~