My Boyfriend Doesn’t Love Me Anymore
Dear Bitter Single Guy: My boyfriend and I are on a break. I told him I had financial problems and although he is not helping me with those (obviously) we still managed to get into this huge fight and he’s still mad at me and won’t talk to me.
I don’t know what to do or what to say to him, I think he’s not attracted to me anymore (he doesn’t even miss me). He is probably thinking of seeing other people, I know our relationship is going down the drain. What should I do? it’s very hard for us to have quality time together and I think he might stop loving me. Any tips? ~Paddling a Sinking Boat~
Dear PSB: To the Bitter Single Guy it sounds as if you’re working really hard to keep this relationship afloat despite some evidence that your boyfriend may be done. It’s possible that he is using your financial problems to create conflict between you because it’s easier to end a relationship sometimes when there is a bunch of conflict.
PSB, the BSG thinks that sometimes relationships end even when everyone does what they’re supposed to do. If you suspect your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore, then there’s probably a good chance that he doesn’t and that your relationship is coming to an end.
The BSG recommends getting ready for your break to be permanent. Maybe if you stop working so much to keep everything working, your boyfriend will realize that he wants to actually BE your boyfriend and will come back asking to get back together. But the BSG (and you) think that your relationship is just winding down and rather than letting it end quietly, there is some drama cropping up. Don’t buy into the drama…let it go if it’s time. ~BSG~
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Says:
July 25th, 2010 at 10:48 am
Dear PSB,
Even though this may be painful to hear, please listen and trust your gut instincts. If your instincts are telling you the relationship is over, it most likely is.
The best thing to do is to give you and your boyfriend some space. If it’s meant to be, you two will find your way. If not, then you will be able to take the necessary steps to move forward with your life.
Says:
July 28th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
PSB – I ignored the “this is ending” for a LONG time. I mean, we even stopped SAYING I love you, which he openly admitted to not being able to say anymore, even though we lived together, had pets together, and had been that way for years. I blew it off as “Oh, he’s never been that verbal with affection and he just needs time and space to figure himself out.” I kept saying we were both going through a rut, or that we were both just having our own individual issues and when we sorted them out it would be ok.
I’m not saying this is identical to you, and I’m not saying letting go earlier or later will help the hurt. BUT, my holding on and waiting for him to be the official “It’s Over” designator, both hurt my ego and made the recovery time longer. At least in the sense that instead of moving on with my life when I knew it was over, I held onto hope and lost another 4 months (a bit longer if we add in the post breakup blues). Walk away now for your own peace of mind.
And don’t wonder what you did wrong. When you’re strong enough you’ll be able to take the pros and the cons – for now, just know that it has nothing to do with either of you – it just wasn’t meant to be (so cliche, but they’re overused phrases for a reason, no?).
Says:
October 21st, 2011 at 11:09 am
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November 11th, 2011 at 5:19 am
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