Shakespeare Girl Gets Titillated
Dear Bitter Single Guy: Ours is a very Shakespearean relationship; that is to say, my friend and I get along like Benedick and Beatrice in the opening acts of “Much Ado About Nothing”. “[We] never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between [us]“. He irritates me in the extreme, but I find that I think about him rather more than is healthy.
The problem, is that he would have to change rather significantly (including ditching his ridiculous haircut) to make him into relationship material, but I would not be willing to make any changes myself, and don’t think it’s fair to ask something that I can’t reciprocate. I wish I could get my friend out of my head! BSG, any suggestions? ~Lady Distain~
Dear LD: The Bitter Single Guy is an unlettered oaf! LD, good for you for rising above the pettiness of the world to recognize that your life mirrors classic art. That aside, LD, the BSG can only reply with a resounding “Puh-leeeez!”
“There’s a skirmish of wit between you” (said sneeringly), you won’t have anything to do with him unless he changes his haircut (good for you for taking the high road, LD), you think about him rather more than is healthy? LD, you’re hooked. This guy is really blowing your skirt up, isn’t he? Admit it, you’ve giggled when you’ve thought about him haven’t you? You’re gone already, LD, the only act left is The Act if you get the BSG’s drift (the BSG appreciates his own theatrical puns).
But here’s the rub. If you approach Prince Charming and tell him that, insults aside, you want to take this repartee to the next phase, you will change the nature of your relationship. In other words, LD, having a (gasp!) date with Prince Charming – new haircut or old – may dull that spark that you find so appealing (don’t try to tell the BSG you don’t find it appealing, he knows you too well).
But on the other hand, if you do nothing you get just that…nothing. Just don’t quote Shakespeare to him on the first date; you’ll seem easy.~BSG~
Loading ...
Says:
October 25th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
She is wrong about the Beatrice /Benedick angle. The deliciousness of B&B’s bickering is rooted in the fact that they both GENUINELY dislike one another. They cannot wait to get away from each other when they are in the same company. It takes a trick played on them by their friends who are heartily sick of their reciprocal animosity that always dominates the conversation to channel all that negative energy into different and more amicable forms. Once they are aware of a sexual attraction, they become a rather conventional couple. It’s all downhill from that point on.
The Bitter Single is quite acute in his judgment of LD’s heart condition. There should be little doubt, however, that LD likes her friend not in spite of his haircut but because of his haircut. If he were to oblige her ostensible wish for conformity, he would lose much of his allure.
Perhaps LD will be better served reading more Jane Austen and less Shakespeare.