Getting Over a Breakup
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.
I started a relationship with a girl who works for the same company as me about a year ago. It was great for some time, but we went on a break (yes, I know it was a bad decision) and when we got back together it was never was the same.
Last week, she broke up with me and it has not been an easy road for me. Going to work reminds me of her (although we don’t work in the same office or area) and everyone in my office knows her really well. She comes up in a lot of conversations too. I just can’t seem to escape her right now.
While I know I will heal and move on, I haven’t been on this end of a break-up in a few years. I have tried to keep myself busy and hanging out with friends to move forward, but it is slow moving.
That being said, here is my question: what are some of the things that I can do to help with the healing process? Thanks. ~Looking To Heal~
Dear LTH: Doesn’t getting dumped suck? The Bitter Single Guy thinks that this is as much about personal control as anything…by which he means that even when both parties are aware that a relationship has run its course, the one who takes control and ends it usually has an easier time than the one who gets dumped. Yes; the BSG thinks that getting dumped sucks.
LTH, the short version is what you already know; it takes time. The good news is that there is nothing you can do to keep time from passing and the sting of this breakup from fading. In the meantime, the BSG cautions against brooding. Sitting at home thinking about what you (or she) could have done differently isn’t even mildly helpful at this point.
So the BSG wants you to start engaging in activities that take your mind off the breakup. This could be going to see a lot of movies (this is the one for the BSG…a half-way decent movie provides a ‘reset’ for the BSG’s brain when he needs it); it could be engaging in some meditative activity like pottery (just seeing the spinning wheel of wet clay makes the BSG drowsy, but for some this is meditative); or this could just mean doing things that make you feel good about yourself and your life, like spending time with friends who make you feel good or spending time with family (if that makes you feel good).
In short LTH, take some time for yourself. Do things that make you happy so that while you’re waiting for time to do it’s good work, you’re providing yourself some self-care.
Good luck. ~BSG~
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