The Bitter Single Guy’s Relationship Advice

Twisted Love Triangle

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I need your advice. I have a friend who is older than me, I call her my Aunt even though she is not related to me. She met a guy and spent a month staying with him at his apartment. They both agree that they only had sex two times. Then she came home (different state) and told me all about him. She became obsessed with lover boy and called, texted, emailed and the entire time he blew her off and ignored me. Now, we both came back to his state and are staying at his apt. The night we got to town he tells her he just wants to be friends and does not want a sexual relationship or any type of relationship, except to be friends.

However, I am sleeping on the couch in his living room and she sleeps next to him in his bed at night. He always keeps the bedroom door open. Then a few nights ago he and I were alone at home. We had some wine and next thing I know he tells me he really likes me and is extremely attracted to me. But I know for a fact my aunt is still crazy about the guy. Last night he tells me he is falling in love with me (something he never told her)…now keep in mind he has slept with her (the first night they met) and has not slept with me. I want to tell her what he is doing behind her back but I know she will be hurt and angry. Will probably blame me. I feel like I am caught in the middle of those two and I can’t even tell for sure if he means what he says to me, or is just feeding me lines to get in my pants? Wtf should I do? ~All In A Tangle~

Dear AIAT: “WTF should I do?” HTF did you get yourself in this bizarre triangle? The Bitter Single Guy has several questions :

1.       Why do you care how often your Aunt had sex with someone she was involved with?

2.       Why, in the name of heaven, are you and she staying in his apartment with him?!

3.       Is there a typo above, or did you actually mean that Lover Boy blew her off and ignored you? Have you been wrapped up in this relationship from the beginning?

Really AIAT, the BSG isn’t mad…he’s just disappointed.  Here’s the advice: Get the hell out of Lover Boy’s apartment, get the hell out of your Aunt’s and Lover Boy’s relationship, and get the hell away from Lover Boy altogether.

You’re afraid your Aunt will blame you for this man expressing his feelings for you? Where’s your free will AIAT? What did you tell Lover Boy when he was busy dissing your Aunt? Did you tell him that he’s a creep and he should clean up his messes before he tries to make new ones? Did you tell him that you have more self respect and love for your Aunt than to even be HAVING that conversation? The BSG guesses not and thinks that you’re probably sufficiently titillated by Lover Boy’s attention that you’re not setting any boundaries for yourself or anyone else.

Nothing good will come of any of this, AIAT.  Get out. ~BSG~

When Good Technology Goes Bad

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I stumbled across your site tonight and think you have an awesome thing going here.

To the point: I’ve been involved in a long distance relationship for about three years now. She lives in NC, I live in AZ. There have been many times that we have talked about exchanging pictures and talking on the phone, and even sending letter snail mail. I have given her my address and phone number, yet I have received no call or mail from her. She hasn’t given me her info (phone number or address). She has pictures of me that I have emailed her and she has also viewed my webcam, but she hasn’t given me the same. We also used to talk online every day or at least email each other several times a day. These days, if I hear from her twice in one week, it’s a good week.

I feel like she has something to hide and it’s probably time to cut ties and move on. But I am the type to not let go of a relationship. I am deeply in love with her and don’t want to see things end. Please give me your honest opinion on what you think I should do. Love-Bitten, Confused Man.

Dear LBCM: Does the Bitter Single Guy understand you correctly that in three years in this relationship you have neither seen nor spoken to your girlfriend? That all your contact has been strictly by email? LBCM, the BSG thinks this is an example of when good technology goes bad. The BSG is all about online dating and using all of one’s resources to stay in contact, but the nature of a loving relationship is connection. You obviously have a strong connection through the words you type, but if you haven’t even seen her or spoke to her, what’s really there?

LBCM, the BSG is now feeling a little paranoid on your behalf (although the BSG thinks he would have felt this way after a couple of weeks, not three years). What if she’s a dude? What if she’s 75 years old? What if she’s a 75 year old dude? Not to say that there isn’t room for all types of love and that you and grandpa might live very happily together, but geez LBCM what else could be going on here?

If the BSG were you, he might stage a little reconnaissance mission to North Carolina to get a glimpse of this Tantalizing Tadpole from afar. But knowing how stalker-like that seems, the BSG just recommends moving on to someone with a face and a voice.

Now, there are those of you who have seen way too many after-school specials and are now thinking that the BSG has been unreasonably harsh here. You’re imagining a girl who was horribly disfigured when she saved a bunch of orphans from a burning bus. Now she’s so traumatized by the sight of her burned features that he can’t bear to be seen or to talk to anyone and doesn’t this girl deserve love, too? Yes dear readers…Burn Victim Girl definitely deserves love, but there’s a point where even she needs to step up and tell LBCM what the heck is going on with her elusiveness.

Or (the BSG is WAY out in weirdo-land here) maybe she’s a SPY!  And she can’t let herself be seen or heard because it would endanger national security…OR maybe she’s an ALIEN!  Yeah, probably she’s just a 75 year old man, but regardless of who this Tantalizing Tadpole is, you have a right to some more information LBCM. ~BSG~