What Do I Do About My Relationship?
Dear Bitter Single Guy: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. We’ve been through almost everything I can imagine and when it’s good there’s nothing else I would rather do then be with her. On the other hand when it’s bad I don’t know what to do with myself; it brings me down, I don’t feel like doing anything and I break down.
About 2 months ago we stopped being intimate, and recently she said she needs more time to herself, so I’ve been trying to give her time. She’s busy with her finals with school and she wants more time with her friends, which is fine but I don’t get any time with her anymore. I do everything I can possibly do to make her happy, I feel like all I do is give and I get nothing in return. What should I do? ~Color Me Despondent~
Dear CMD: The Bitter Single Guy leans (as he often does) to just telling you that this relationship is over and you should move on. There are some threads to pull out of your story, however. You tell the BSG that when things are bad, you shut down, then break down. Really, CMD? That seems a little serious for what the BSG would assume are the regular ups and downs of a relationship.
Two things are going on here, CMD. Either you’re having extreme emotional responses to non-extreme situations in your relationship, or you’ve got one-o-them pesky emotional roller coasters on your hands. If it’s you…get yourself some professional help so you can find out why the normal ups and downs in a relationship are causing you to shut down.
However…if your relationship with this Delicate Flower is one that is characterized by constant emotional drama, the BSG would recommend you hit the road and find a more consistent emotional experience. The BSG knows that there are folks drawn to emotional drama like a moth to the porch light, but just because they can’t get away from drama doesn’t make it OK. Some of us also can’t get away from ice cream…that doesn’t make it OK (every day).
Short answer CMD is that this decision seems to have been made for you. Delicate Flower wants space and doesn’t have time for you, now? The BSG recommends telling her that she can have that precious space and she should call you if she wants to get together sometime. In the meantime let her know you’ll be doing some After-Christmas shopping. ~BSG~
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