The Anxiety of Starting Over
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I’m 27 and I broke up with my girlfriend of six years a few months ago. I decided that if I didn’t want to marry her I was just stringing both of us along. My dating life before her was easier since I was still in college, going to parties, and constantly meeting new people. Now I am in the realm of the adult dating world and have been a bit lost but learning quickly.
I met a girl a few weeks after the break up and started hanging out occasionally. I am not looking for a serious relationship but I feel like that I had been in one for so much of my dating life it is all I know. So the girl and I have kissed a few times and she spent the night at my house once. However, I can’t seem to find it in myself to take the next move and turn it into a sexual relationship. I have a nervousness that I haven’t felt since I was 17. What should I do to get over the anxiety in the bedroom and take the relationship to the next level? ~Over-Anxious Guy~
Dear OAG: The Bitter Single Guy knows that there are tons of bitter jaded women reading your letter and getting all hopeful again. “Look!” they’ll exclaim. “This guy actually did the RIGHT thing when his relationship wasn’t progressing, and now he’s trying to figure out how to do the right thing in a NEW relationship!” Then they’ll sigh heavily.
OAG, the BSG is actually really GLAD for you! The BSG knows MANY people who would give up their favorite pair of jeans just to have 5 minutes of that nervousness that comes at the beginning of a relationship.
OK, enough. The BSG knows it’s probably just annoying for him to be treating your problem like it’s a cute, fuzzy bunny. There isn’t any way to get over your nervousness. If you want to take your new relationship to the next level, then dammit OAG, just go there. The BSG recommends letting your Delicate Flower know that you’re a little nervous since it’s been so long since you’ve had a new relationship yadda yadda yadda…she’ll think it’s cute and will easily forgive any flubs on your part (around the planet, the BSG hears those bitter jaded women sighing again). ~BSG~
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