The Relationship Restaurant
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I recently started a relationship that was just beginning to become intimate when he pulled away, telling me that he had past issues about dating co-workers. I know that there are feelings and a very strong sexual attraction between us, but even now when we don’t work together, I have difficulties getting him to talk about our relationship. I don’t have much experience dating men, having mostly dated women. (I don’t know if that means anything or not.)
I have even asked him if he wants to break up. He says no, that he wants to have an open relationship with me, and that I do mean a lot to him. He seems to get very flustered when he is around me but gets very aroused when we are intimate together. — Confused And Frustrated
Dear CAF: The Bitter Single Guy finds himself wondering if you and this gentleman have dined out together? Was he a steak and salad guy or a buffet guy? The BSG’s guess is that he asked the waiter to bring him several dishes artfully displayed and he nibbled from each as it pleased him. If asked why he wanted his meal served that way, he replied that “issues came up from his past about restaurants”. If asked if he would like to finish any of the dishes, he would probably want “to have an open relationship with each dish and that each one does mean a lot to him”.
Further, the BSG bets that when he was faced with desert, he was “very aroused” and managed to scarf down the desert with no obvious commitment problems. Are you getting the point, CAF? He can eat his meal any way he wants to, but as one of the entrees you should only participate in this meal if it makes your toes curl.
Does your lesbian her-story make a difference? Sure, everything makes a difference. Are you less informed as a result? Hardly! He gets aroused when you’re intimate? Here’s a tip: most guys have been aroused by a TV commercial.
Oh CAF, the Bitter Single Guy’s heart goes out to you. At one time he found himself in a situation where his expectations and his date’s did not match. The solution? Change your expectations or change your date. ~BSG~
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