The Bitter Single Guy’s Relationship Advice

Torn Between Two

Dear Bitter Single Guy: So here’s the deal, awhile back I became utterly and totally infatuated with this girl. Everyone said she liked me and the way she acted it seemed like she did. So I decided to take the next step. I first asked her father if I could date her thinking it was the proper thing. After a month or so of waiting I finally got an answer, he said yes!  So I then went and asked the girl out, she said she didn’t want to date at that time. So I said I would wait. After months of waiting I was growing impatient, all my friends and her friends were telling me she didn’t like me anymore and to move on. After awhile I decided they were right and did move on. A couple months later I asked another girl out and she said yes although I have to wait till she is sixteen.  

This weekend while on a trip with the first girls family I found out the girl still likes me, I still have a lot of feelings for her as well, more so then the second girl, although I do like the second girl. Now I feel stuck. I know I dug myself into this, but I don’t know what to do. I like the first girl more I think, but I feel committed to the second girl and don’t want to break her heart or ruin a friendship. What do I do!!?? — Want to Do What’s Right

Dear WDWR: The Bitter Single Guy is going to assume from your email that you’re one of his younger readers. Otherwise, as the BSG hears that you’re waiting for Girl #2 to turn 16, he has to assume that you live a very different lifestyle than most of the BSG’s readers.  For the sake of this not feeling creepy, the BSG will assume that you are young-ish.

To your problem, WDWR. There isn’t any way for you to get what you want without pissing someone off.  There, the BSG said what you have suspected and feared, but frankly someone had to say it. The way the BSG sees it there are two choices:

1. You have asked Girl #2 out, but have to wait until she’s 16 for the actual date to happen, yes?  So if you haven’t gone out with her yet, you have a tiny window of opportunity to back out on your invitation to her without being a huge jerk.  Rest assured that you will BE a jerk…just not as huge as if you dumped her after going out with her.

2. Have a moment of sadness for missing your chance with Girl #1 and go out with Girl #2 as planned. 

WDWR, the BSG is going to strongly recommend option 2 here. There is a chance, of course, that you will preemtively dump Girl #2 and will be deliriously happy with Girl #1 through the ENTIRE school year, but the BSG suspects that it’s much more likely that you’ll piss off Girl #2 and that Girl #1 (who has already been somewhat wishy-washy) will decide that maybe she’s not ready yet either and FURTHER that she’s actually BFF’s with Girl #2 and that she CAN’T believe you would do a think like that to her BFF and she hopes you drop dead.

In this scenario, you’ll have no date and will be known through your entire class as a bit of a dirt bag. By the way, WDWR, whatever you decide, the BSG recommends keeping notes of the experience because he PROMISES you’ll be back in this scenario again.

~BSG