Why Buy The Cow?
Dear Bitter Single Guy: Last week I went on this great date with a guy who’s been a friend of mine for some time. It was really easy and fun and I had a fantastic time…pretty sure he did too! It was really nice taking it up from the friend level. Anyway, I am usually aware of the whole “3 day rule” for calling/contact, but we are online buddies too and I expected a chat or something but got nothing. I started to figure that he hadn’t had as much fun as I had. Then this past Sunday I actually had to go by his place to pick up something I had left there. I wasn’t sure what to expect once I got there. When I walked in he asked if I had any plans the rest of the evening and if I’d want to spend time with him. We watched movies/TV, ordered Thai, and cuddled on the couch. Once again, it was great. And once again, no communication for days after. What’s the deal? Just not that into me? Clueless? I can’t figure it out. ~Baffled and Confused~
Dear BAC: The Bitter Single Guy wants you to Google “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?” and upon reading the description of that metaphoric question, decide whether you find yourself anywhere in there.
The BSG is pretty sure that your Lackadaisical Lad had an OK time and finds you at least more entertaining than spending time watching TV and eating Thai by himself, but the BSG is guessing here that you want more? Walk away and wait for him to call you. If he doesn’t, move on.
~BSG~
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Says:
November 8th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Hey BSG, thanks for addressing my issue. Figured I’d post an update. First off about your “Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?” comment.. if by milk you mean my time and attention and some initiation, then I agree, but if you mean it sexually, then I just wanted to specify that it wasn’t really going like that. I take things respectfully slow when it comes to that sort of thing (not a prude or anything and there was making out, but yeah).
But, to update… this same thing has been going on for about a month. A week would go by with no contact and I would assume it was fizzling, and then out of nowhere he’d be calling and trying to take me to lunch or have a lazy Sunday watching tv and cuddling. I started thinking I was just reading into the lack of contact because when we hung out it was so obvious he was into me. I was wrong. You were right so bravo. Ha. We talked it out today about the mixed signals, and it was more that he thinks I am great and enjoys hanging out with me but doesn’t want to take it to that next level with me. He apologized for leading me on and blah blah… but basically its over. He mentioned still hanging out and I basically just said that it wouldn’t be fair to me because I DO have feelings for him. So we parted ways. I’m disappointed.. and bummed out, and a little confused, but at least I know and can spend my time focused on something else.. maybe someone who gives me a little more thought and isn’t an inconsiderate D-bag.
Anyway, thanks again for addressing my e-mail.
-Baffled and Confused